Well, I should start out strong.
This woman in Texas believes she has the corpses of three chupacabra (s?). They are ugly. They are also dogs.

Also, a man was trying to fish. A sea lion stole his bait. A very large sea lion. So he stabbed it. Now he's going to jail? Only in California, I hope, could this happen. It's a federal law, but....

On the subject...
In Hawaii, they have been without a ferry service. Now they have one. But environmentalists are blocking it, and a judge is cooperating with them. The reason? The boat does not have an environmental impact statement.
Come on. It's a boat. There are already several hundred, if not thousand, there. None of them had to complete one of these.

More bureaucratic awesomeness:
Men were heard speaking Arabic on a plane. So the plane was not allowed to take off. It turns out the men were contractors trying to teach our soldiers Arabic...but the government didn't get things sorted out very quickly, as usual; the flight didn't end up taking off until the next day.
Seriously, people, calm down. Terrorism sucks, but there really aren't that many people trying to kill us. And let's remember - Arabic != death. Or terrorists.

And more!
The Vatican recently started chartering planes to pilgrimage sites. On the way back from Lourdes, passengers were not allowed to carry their vials of holy water onto the plane.
I understand now. See, I thought those rules were silly. But actually, it's all been an elaborate set up for this very case. If you were an undead monster, or something similar, and had to fly on a plane, where you couldn't get away, wouldn't it suck if there was someone with holy water who happened to have it in for you? Problem solved, now!
Either that, or airplanes are inherently evil, like some old Luddites and technophobes have mentioned.

中國新聞的時候!
Officials on the mainland are concerned about the use of English...pretty much everywhere in that country. With good reason. I've seen a few "steamed crap"s in my day. They'd like to clear the confusion. (Though in some cases, there may be truth in advertising - cardboard is the main ingredient in some 包子, for example.)


少林寺徒不但弱, 而且很笨的.
Also, this is too ridiculous to be true, but I'm not in charge of these things, generally. A person wrote on the Internet that a single ninja went to a Shaolin temple and defeated all who would fight him. Another day on the Internet, right?
That reveals that you are neither a Shaolin monk nor the mainland government.
The monks are suing.
Notable quotes:

“The so-called defeat is purely fabricated, and we demand the Internet user
to apologize to the whole nation for the wrongs he or she did,” the Beijing News
said, citing a notice announced by a lawyer for the Shaolin monks.

The Shaolin Temple “strongly condemned the horrible deeds” of the user, the newspaper said.

“It is not only extremely irresponsible behavior with respect to the Shaolin Temple and its monks, but also to the whole martial art and Chinese nation,” it quoted the monks as saying.

Wow. Haven't they heard the one about the Internet and Special Olympics?


And lastly, making jet fuel out of algae. Awesome.